Extremely competent

The prime minister said he was confident the minister would carry on being 'extremely competent'. For that sentence to come out like that, someone had to be left alone with a piece of evidence somewhere in the official residence. Not every row and column has to be occupied.

Suspects

• Arsénio, the communications adviser: He turns any scandal into a 'matter already clarified'. Even the ones that haven't started yet.
• Brígida, the government spokeswoman: She says 'full confidence' so many times a day she says it in her sleep.
• Crispim, the legal adviser: He read all three inquiries cover to cover and concluded there's nothing there. At least nothing he underlined.
• Dinora, the protocol intern: She's been there three weeks and has already worked out that important decisions are never made in meetings.